Activ8 Excellence News
MY MEAN MUM
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mum told me:
How do we become the people we want to be for ourselves and others?
1.Find examples of role models, that is, name people who you would like to be like. You may know these people personally or from a distance. Write yourself a list of these peoples' names.
2. Recognise the qualities you admire in each person. To do this you will observe the way they are with others, take note of the things they do and listen to what they say and how they say it. Remember how they make you feel when you are with them. List the qualities you admire in these people.
3. Listen for the intention behind their words and actions. Make another list of the intentions or values that the qualities listed above highlight This step may even require you to ask the person questions about how or why they do the things they do.
4. Use your three lists to get really clear about how you would like to BE as a person in any given situation. Think about the following:
When someone spends time with you and thinks back to that time what will they remember
- seeing you do
- hearing you say
- how you made them feel
- telling themselves?
5. Surround yourself with people who have similiar value and intentions and you will be supported in your journey to become all you can be.
As Mothers' day approaches I am reminded of all the special times I have spent with my Mum over the years. My Mum taught me to cook and sew - often staying up late at night to help me finish a school project. I would listen to my Mum's LPs, learn all the words and sing with her, the songs from South Pacific or Buddy Holly.
I remember especially the turbulent teenage years and it was the little things - particularly the times when she didn't know what to say - that stand out for me most. Yes at times I thought I had a mean mother - because I didn't always get my own way. Yet at these times, it was then that the best came out in Mum. She would write me a letter to tell me how much she loved me and the qualities she admired in me. She would then explain why she had approached the matter the way she did. She knew fighting about the differences verbally would only end in shouts and/or tears, instead she gave me the space to come to a greater appreciation of the distinctions I needed to learn for myself, in my time.
Sometimes words were not needed either. Sometimes a hug said everything.
Washing up the dishes with my Mum is always the perfect opportunity to have the best heart to hearts.
Where ever you celebrate Mothers' Day this year, I invite you to acknowledge your Mum for being a role model for you. Recognize the qualities and values that you admire most about your Mum and you will have recognized the qualities and values that she has passed on to you.